Perhaps a better question would be: What do you think the attacking bad guy (or bad guys) you might end up having to face are going to be carrying. Many years ago, now, after finishing a late night wedding anniversary dinner, my wife and I were unexpectedly accosted and threatened by a small group of men carrying pistols (I don't know exactly what caliber) and a shotgun.
All I had on me was a Walther PPK-S 380 Auto with two extra clips. By the grace of God we somehow managed to survive that encounter, and I will never make that mistake again—No more primary carry 380 pistols for me!
If you need to feel safe and be comfortable at the same time then my suggestion would be to either suck your thumb, or get yourself one of those rubber baby pacifier to nurse on. As far as this EXPERIENCED older gunman is concerned: If someone is packing a nice, comfortable, and/or easy-to-carry pistol then he is, sure as hell, carrying the wrong self-defense handgun.
Suggest you make an effort to get your head on straight and make up your mind to carry a 'real gun' BEFORE someone else makes up your mind for you. If—IF—you ever do need a handgun with which to defend your life (and/or valuable property) then the first brutal CQB realization that's going to flash through your head will be something like:
NOW THAT THE THREAT IS REAL, HOW AM I GOING TO SAVE MY LIFE WITH A RIDICULOUS 'PACIFIER PISTOL'?
And do not reply with something facetious or inane like: Well, he obviously did it! You are NOT me; and, on that particular night, I had to do the fighting for both myself AND my wife. (In other words losing was not an option!)